not done Pretending Yet...Never Done Pretending Yet..

This is set just after the second world war. it was an RS assignment, and i was a bit proud of it so i figured i'd post it here, you know, just in case anyone was interested. I like writing empathetic letters and imagining i'm someone else ..even if i have to put myself in a distressing and horrifying situation such as the holocaust.

If you're reading this i hope you enjoy, i have at the moment two other letters to post, both of which from world war one . newaizz...

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Dearest Elisabeth,

These past few years have been the hardest I have ever endured. Being separated from you feels like a knife has been dug into my chest, and my poor heart been ripped in two. I have never felt more helpless or alone, and each night I pray that wherever you are, is far better than that wretched place I found myself in.

The only thing that has kept me strong is the sound of your laughter, filled with joy and pure delight that I will forever treasure. It was a year before any of this started, a year before all the pain, misery and humiliation those hideous Nazis inflicted upon us.

We were sitting in the parlour, you, Felix, your Daddy and I. The sun shone brilliantly through the window, creating delicate, shimmering patterns on the wall opposite. I watched as your bright eyes followed the glittering shapes, your small mouth smiling so wide your pink cheeks dimpled and little gurgling noises escaped. Words cannot describe how much I have missed you, or how grateful I am for those short years we had together.

It was the worst day of my life, when they took you from me. You were so tiny, so innocent, your dark curls blowing in the breeze as you screamed for me. All I could do was watch. I felt broken, stretching my arms out frantically, desperate to grab hold of and somehow rescue you. I tried to chase the wagon they put you in; piled in with so many others you could scarcely move, but it was no use. I felt my poor exhausted legs crumple beneath me in defeat as your father cried your name, his usually calm eyes wild with fury and panic.

Hard as I try, I have never been able to block your piercing, terrified voice as they stole you, and each night I curse myself for not being able to go with you and hold you again, even if for the last time.

Instead I was forced to work, work until I collapsed from exhaustion, work until every inch of me pleaded fruitlessly to stop. I worked through scorching heat and debilitating cold, as those repulsive fat-cat Nazis fanned themselves and donned their lavish fur coats. They looked at me as if I was dirt, worth nothing more than a maggot they might skewer onto a fishing hook. I was worthless to them, and they enjoyed parading their superiority every damned day. To them, I was a rat, not a human, but to me it was quite the opposite. I will never be able to fully comprehend how one man could have so much hate for one race, or power enough to persecute them as he pleased.

I am quite alone now, sitting in the front room of my new flat overlooking the canal.

It has been several months since the war ended, yet these memories will stay with me to my death. Then, Elisabeth, my darling baby girl we will be reunited. Be brave my sweet, it will not be long. Your father and brother are no doubt with you as I write this, I see you in my mind’s eye, you are laughing once more, your cheeks pink and eyes bright, happy and safe in your father’s loving arms, your dear devoted brother standing heroic beside you. How I long to join you, and be forever holding you.

I promise never again shall I leave you.

Infinite love,

Your mother.