not done Pretending Yet...Never Done Pretending Yet..

Set in the winter of 1914, during the first world war. It's pretty self explanatory, and as a joint history/english assignment there are a few historic terms/facts shoved in for good measure. It got me a national curriculum lvl. 7, which considering all last year i got 5+s, i was over the moon. I hope you like it, and thanks for the encouraging comments of part 1, my friends fished that letter out of my bag and took the piss out of everything about it and i have yet to be given a single apology. Thank you again ! you're alll very lovely (:

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This is set just after the second world war. it was an RS assignment, and i was a bit proud of it so i figured i'd post it here, you know, just in case anyone was interested. I like writing empathetic letters and imagining i'm someone else ..even if i have to put myself in a distressing and horrifying situation such as the holocaust.

If you're reading this i hope you enjoy, i have at the moment two other letters to post, both of which from world war one . newaizz...

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Dearest Elisabeth,

These past few years have been the hardest I have ever endured. Being separated from you feels like a knife has been dug into my chest, and my poor heart been ripped in two. I have never felt more helpless or alone, and each night I pray that wherever you are, is far better than that wretched place I found myself in.

The only thing that has kept me strong is the sound of your laughter, filled with joy and pure delight that I will forever treasure. It was a year before any of this started, a year before all the pain, misery and humiliation those hideous Nazis inflicted upon us.

We were sitting in the parlour, you, Felix, your Daddy and I. The sun shone brilliantly through the window, creating delicate, shimmering patterns on the wall opposite. I watched as your bright eyes followed the glittering shapes, your small mouth smiling so wide your pink cheeks dimpled and little gurgling noises escaped. Words cannot describe how much I have missed you, or how grateful I am for those short years we had together.

It was the worst day of my life, when they took you from me. You were so tiny, so innocent, your dark curls blowing in the breeze as you screamed for me. All I could do was watch. I felt broken, stretching my arms out frantically, desperate to grab hold of and somehow rescue you. I tried to chase the wagon they put you in; piled in with so many others you could scarcely move, but it was no use. I felt my poor exhausted legs crumple beneath me in defeat as your father cried your name, his usually calm eyes wild with fury and panic.

Hard as I try, I have never been able to block your piercing, terrified voice as they stole you, and each night I curse myself for not being able to go with you and hold you again, even if for the last time.

Instead I was forced to work, work until I collapsed from exhaustion, work until every inch of me pleaded fruitlessly to stop. I worked through scorching heat and debilitating cold, as those repulsive fat-cat Nazis fanned themselves and donned their lavish fur coats. They looked at me as if I was dirt, worth nothing more than a maggot they might skewer onto a fishing hook. I was worthless to them, and they enjoyed parading their superiority every damned day. To them, I was a rat, not a human, but to me it was quite the opposite. I will never be able to fully comprehend how one man could have so much hate for one race, or power enough to persecute them as he pleased.

I am quite alone now, sitting in the front room of my new flat overlooking the canal.

It has been several months since the war ended, yet these memories will stay with me to my death. Then, Elisabeth, my darling baby girl we will be reunited. Be brave my sweet, it will not be long. Your father and brother are no doubt with you as I write this, I see you in my mind’s eye, you are laughing once more, your cheeks pink and eyes bright, happy and safe in your father’s loving arms, your dear devoted brother standing heroic beside you. How I long to join you, and be forever holding you.

I promise never again shall I leave you.

Infinite love,

Your mother.

Each word stained with malice
Your eyes alive with spite
Yet still so gloriously fine
Perfection burning bright

I hide behind my sharp reposte
My voice it never falters
Your words they cut me so deeply
Your expression is the salt.

Into your eyes once more
Like oceans drown me further
Sheer arrogance, pure egotism
Hatred seeps through every pore

But still I can't resist you
Echoing throughout my dreams
Unrequited, irreversible
Emmotions bursting at the seams.

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I wrote this last night, while i was meant to be getting rest so today i could doo even moore maths and moore science..oh and plus a ton of The Tempest shiz i gotta memorise..themes and such. oh lord HELP ME. 1 week to go till SATs/NCTs or w/e the lovely government changed them to ...they said they were abolishing them..obv. had a change of heart, eh ?.

anywhoo..if you really want a backstory on the "poem" then i'll tell you..so much easier to talk about with strangers...my friends just start giggling and singing "I won't say i'm in love" from hercules..

oh, and that isnt actually the title...i just am re-reading the twilight books atm..the quote matches soo..hey presto !

X PS, anyone know a cure for rhyming..i think i'm secretly stuck in primary school :p

i'm not sure if anyone really cares, but i'm sitting in pitch black right now in my kitchen. 2 minutes ago i was sat up on my kitchen counter top next to the windowsill looking up at the starry sky above, hazed with the orange of the street lamps from the nursery behind my school. I'm in a wierd place right now, i'm not quite sure how to explain. I guess i'm having an "adolescent moment." Earlier my dad asked me what was wrong just because i wasnt grinning from ear to ear or bouncing off the wall. He claimed i was "looking like the world is against you". So i just said "i'm a teenager, it's what we do". That shut him up. It's not that i hate the world..its just a very confusing place at the moment. And i was blessed cursed with the ability to over analyse everything. And to worry. Oh yes, I'm good at that, my mum calls it "caring".

anyway, enough of my rant/confession/random pointless spiel of mumbo jumbo.

Here's the soundtrack to the vast muddlement that is the life of laura-emily..

1. I don't know - Lily Allen
2. Hurricane - The Hush Sound
3. My Heroine (acoustic) - Silverstein
4. Hometown Glory - Adele
5. Breathe - Paramore
6. Thunder (acoustic) - Boys Like Girls
7. Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
8. Northern Downpour - Panic (!) At The Disco
9. Phantom Of The Opera - Andrew Lloyd Webber/POTO OST 
10. It's The Way You Make Me Feel - Steps (haha)
11. Strong Enough - Stacie Orrico
12. You Are The Moon - The Hush Sound
13. Tired And Uninspired - My American Heart
14. Untouched - The Veronicas
15. Warm Me Up - The Audition
16. Pain - Jimmy Eat World
17. Risky Buisness - The Cab
18. Let's Go To Disneyland - Consort With Romeo
19. Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody) - Paramore
20. No One Can Touch Us - Sing It Loud & Alex Gaskarth

She stared across the room at the girl whom for ten years she had referred to as her "best friend". It had been almost a month since they had last had a real conversation, a fact that cut Lucy deeply now as she studied her best friend carefully, and began to cringe deeply. The girl was stood a few yards away,  laughing, her high pitched squeals clearly audible from the step on which Lucy was now perched, eating her lunch as usual.
Even though the converstaions of those around her had reached their normal break-time boom, to Lucy, all noise had melted away.

Everything slipped into slow motion.

Lucy felt a violent shiver take control of her body as each bone shook in canon. She couldn't believe it as reality tied knots in her stomach. One knot for every bone visible in her "best friend"'s now painfully gaunt face. The force of this unwelcome sight had left Lucy winded and unable to think.

Lucy had stopped eating now, and her half-eaten ham roll lay rejected in its foil wrapping on her lap: just like the one now laying un-opened in the bottom of the bin that her "best friend" stood next to, almost defensively.

"Oh My God", Lucy thought to herself, unable to say the words out loud. "I was right".

Realisation washed over Lucy like an unforgiving wave, dragging her under a sea of horror as her sharp mind recovered from the previous hindrance. She tried desperately to get up, causing the remains of her lunch to scatter across the cold tarmac surface, but her legs simply buckled in defiance as she tried to drown out the 5 words that she had been trying to deny since the previous summer.

"Alice. Has. An. Eating. Disorder."

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this is just a random thing that i wrote at midnight last night when everything just got too much and the only thing i could think of to relieve even a fraction of the burden was to write it out. Social Turmoil i think describes my current situation quite well, i want to kick myself for having an interest in psychology and hard-hitting books.

sometimes ignorance truly is BLISS.

ok, don't laugh at my crappy poem ok?? I don't even know why i picked up my pen and wrote it..my dinner's going to burn now..and i'm missing hollyoaks..but OH WELL ! tell me what you think :)

Your Lies are bleeding through Your Teeth.

Chapter one:

I met Josh in late July when I was eight.

Straight from the off I knew there was something about him, something almost hypnotic, and I couldn’t stay away. I was sitting out on my front porch waiting for Hayley, my best friend, to arrive, drumming my fingers impatiently on the wooden railing that ran along the decking. It was this very same railing that had stopped me slipping onto the graveled driveway 4 feet below numerous times when I was still in nappies. It was late evening and the low sun was streaking the street with glorious golden light, causing everything to suddenly glow in the dusky half-light. It was a magical night, as if everything had been coated in fairy dust. The breeze was warm, and carried the delicious, Smokey, scent of a barbecue from a few houses down.

I  watched the road vigilantly, slowly growing more impatient as the minutes ticked by, waiting for Hayley to arrive for our sleepover.

Then something caught my eye.  Across the road a tall boy around 9 or 10 with warm brown hair, and a ropey frame sprinted anxiously down the road, followed by a smaller, slightly rounder boy around 6 or 7, trudging resentfully behind. I knew it was rude to stare, but for some reason I couldn’t draw my eyes away from the older boy, he was just so…entrancing. I loved the way his hair flopped over his eyes, and the enchanting way the hazy summer night light reflected off of every facet of his being. I was transfixed.

So transfixed, in fact, that I didn’t see my best friend come skipping down the road in the opposite direction, or hear the light thud of her Nike hi-tops as she hopped up the porch steps. It wasn’t until Hayley realised that the only way to wake me from my beautiful dreamy state was to shake a packet of Oreos in my face, causing me to jump back and squeal in shock, that I even noticed she was there.

“Whatcha staring at?” She asked, smiling with gentle confusion.

“Oh, erm…” I answered, glancing over at the boy with the warm brown hair. He had stopped running now, and had his arm around the younger boy who I assumed to be his brother. The younger boy appeared to be speaking fiercely to the older boy, scowling harshly and I found an unhealthy curiosity about the pair take over and cause me to lean forward.

Hayley repeatedly dangled the cookies in front of me, and this time I ignored her. The older boy had turned around, staring me dead in the face. The street around us melted away, and the sound of Hayley beside me munching teasingly away at the Oreos vanished. The boy just looked at me, smiling slightly, a crooked smile that sent chills up my spine and shortened my breath. This reaction was one, that at age 8 I was neither expecting, or fully understanding of. But it was a reaction I would grow to associate with one person, and one person only. Josh.  

Later that week we met again. Hayley and I were having a water fight on my front lawn, and he walked past.

The sun was intense, and the bright light seemed to ricochet off of Josh as if he were a living diamond. I froze, suddenly overwhelmingly self conscious, and looked nervously over to Hayley, who was looking from Josh to me and back again, an amused smile appearing on her face as she rolled her eyes. I guessed she’d recognised him from the other night, and looked down sheepishly. Josh stopped, seemingly sensing that he was being watched, and that his presence had triggered something behind him, and turned around. Hayley lengthened her gaze in his direction, and the water from the hose trickled pathetically down my leg, creating a cool puddle around my bare feet.

The sight of Josh’s melted chocolate eyes so close up was mesmerizing, and I began to wonder if the liquid dribbling down my leg was in fact water. He was so gorgeous, each feature flawless.

“Hey” he said, casually, nodding his head politely causing his deep golden hair to flick back slightly. I marveled at how it wasn’t glued to his head with sweat in the unbearable heat.

“Hey” Hayley repeated simply, hints of confusion and delight audible to me in her voice. I smiled meekly at Josh, kicking myself that I didn’t even have the guts to say “Hi” to him. I hoped to god he could hear my telepathic greetings and not think that I was a complete idiot.

I wasn’t exactly outgoing as a child, and that never really changed much. It was only because our parents were friends, and that we met when we were still in nappies, that I was so close to Hayley. I wasn’t blessed with confidence, or the ability to be myself around strangers or acquaintances.

“I’m Hayley” said my best friend, her left arm outstretched eagerly, and a wide smile now plastered across her pretty fair face, “And this is Evelyn”, she continued, gesturing to me as an afterthought.

“Evie.” I muttered, barely capable of being heard, but loud enough to catch Josh’s attention.

“Huh” he said smiling warmly, encouraging me to speak up. Something I appreciated, something nobody ever did.

“My name’s Evie, my Mom only calls me Evelyn when she’s angry at me or something” I repeated, giggling quietly toward the end.

“Cool” Josh said, laughing along with me, “ I get that too, I always know I’m in trouble when I hear ‘Joshua’ echoing down the hallways.” I laughed harder, feeling a new wave of confidence raging through me. I couldn’t believe it, and smiled wider.

“So your name is Josh then?” interrupted Hayley, redirecting the attention of the visitor.

This was how things often happened. Even my closest friend didn’t understand my confidence issues, and how much effort it took to speak to strangers. I was fine when you got to know me, bubbly and chatty, it was just at first: it was all more difficult for me than other people. Somehow, josh had managed to make me laugh, and connect with me on our first meeting. Why did Hayley have to ruin that? I watched her smile sweetly up at him, stretching up onto her tippy toes so that their eyes were level as he nodded slowly, giving her a funny look, and I couldn’t bear it.

I grabbed the hose from waist and turned the nozzle so the water came spurting out at great speed. The heat and the unfairness of the situation were getting to me, and I aimed the hose straight at the “happy couple”. Hayley screamed and Josh just laughed as his clothes became soaked. Hayley then looked toward me, anger filling every feature, and I turned and ran inside.

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sorry for lack of post. cheers for all the encouragement on the prologue ! made me smile like craazy :) XXX hope you like, just scene setting atm, you like? buzz/comment/whatevs ! XX

-lauraa. X

IF I LET YOU LOVE ME, BE THE ONE ADORED…

Chapter six. Josh.

It was a pleasant morning as I stood and waited for Ruby to come out of her house. Admittedly, there was still 15 minutes before the bus would was due to arrive, but we still had to walk 2 blocks, and the bus had a habit of arriving at a time different from the one specified. I could hear loud voices coming from the Darcy’s hallway and loud thundering steps, then more shouts, a squeal, and a thud as the front door shut and out walked Ruby.  She walked forward with purpose, trying desperately to conceal the very evident look of worry on her face. Her hair was long, very wavy and blonde, trailing down her back and she had lightly rimmed her eyes with dark grey eyeliner.

To my surprise Ruby was not in fact wearing any hint of pink. I suppose I should have believed her when she told me she was not in fact a Barbie doll, but somehow the blonde hair blue eyed stereotype (and having an annoying know-it all brother) had gotten the better of me.

Ruby was in fact wearing a Vibrant red t-shirt and grey skinny jeans. As I watched her continue to stride down her driveway, my visions of her wearing a tank top and mini skirt vanished into thin air as she slowed her pace and walked with rather less confidence towards me.

“Morning” said Ruby, smiling slightly, her voice shaky and unsure.

“Hey” I said trying to reassure her. School was a daunting thing, even for me. I knew what it felt like to be the “new kid”. 7 months ago that was me…

“James should be out in a sec, and Mum’s taking Bella to school in the car. Where’s Zac and Nate and John?”

 I smiled at the fact she’d managed to remember all my brother’s names considering she’d only ever met Zac and myself.

“Oh, Zac got in a mood with me this morning and decided to get the earlier bus” I chuckled lightly “Rather him than me..I think Nate and John went too”.

Then there was another loud bang as James appeared from the house with just under 10 minutes for us to get to the bus stop in time. Didn’t they have schedules in England?

“Hi” he grunted forcing a slight smile in my direction and shooting Ruby the darkest look I’ve ever seen. So much for us being friends, and so  much for the Darcys being a happy family. I nodded back and looked purposefully at my wrist, checking the time on my imaginary watch.

“We better run” I said, starting to walk with great speed down the street, desperate for Ruby and James not to be late for school on their first day the way I was. Trust me, arriving late to a new school does not create the right impression and can easily taint teachers’ views of you.

Ruby and James followed me quickly, arguing furiously under their breaths and I often felt myself being stared at. Were they arguing about me? I tried to put that out of my mind knowing I was being overly full of myself as we turned the corner to meet a big yellow bus. I heard James gulp and Ruby squeal. She ran forward to my side, her eyes wide with wonder but her mouth set in a straight line and her forehead slightly creased.

“It’s really yellow, how absurd!” Ruby said as we found our seats and James continued his dirty looks.

“What’s the deal with your brother?” I asked nervously, not wanting to pry, but feeling that I was not in fact imagining his sudden change of attitude to me, to everything.

“Oh, um.” Ruby’s whole body tensed and she crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “I don’t know really, he’s probably just pissed cause you’re sitting next to me and not him.” Man this girl was a BAD liar, and she knew it. Ruby kept glancing over at her brother who was sitting two rows in front of us, next to some geeky looking kid with over enthusiastic mousy hair, wearing a t-shirt at least a size too small.

James was in complete contrast to his neighbour, looking as if he’d just stepped off the runway, chiseled face contorted into a deep smolder that was making a group of freshmen girls giggle uncontrollably. I looked back to Ruby who was now eying each of the girls carefully. I guessed that Ruby was herself going into her Freshman year, even though she’d never mentioned this. I, however, would be stuck in Sophomore year with Grumpy guts over there, forced to pretend I hadn’t noticed his apparent anger and make small talk. Or maybe he’d completely blank me…

Out the window I could see an outline of Brooks College Prep Academy High School, one of the top rated public schools in the area. Ruby had seen it too, and I watched as her already tense body appeared to freeze up as she stared out the window, willing away the moment when she would have to step off the bus and through the gates into her new life. Unfortunately that moment came too soon…

“Right, here we are, everybody off, come on!” yelled the bus driver.

“Come on” I tried to speak as softly as I could, I understood how she felt-school is a bad enough prospect without the added burden of everyone staring at you, not just  because you’re fresh meat and others avoiding you, for that very reason, but because the very sight of school had sent you into a dumb stupor.

“Ruby, get off the bleeding bus!” James shouted from the sidewalk, causing the nearby group to freshmen girls to all sigh in unison, as I helped ruby down the steps so she wouldn’t fall (she was shaking so much I was scared she might fall flat on her face, not good on your first day…I didn’t really want her remembered as the girl who fell off the bus).

As we entered the building I took a deep breath and turned to James, still keeping close to Ruby so I could keep an eye her, this girl was like a walking disaster.

“Hey, James.” I said, trying to sound as casual as I could.

“Look, Josh-“ he started, his clear voice and british accent causing A LOT of heads to turn, mostly female. This guy was sure going to cause my self esteem to plummet around girls…

“James.” It was now Ruby’s turn for devilish looks, her eyes penetrating her older borther's skull intently and he nodded.

“Josh is in your year, you’ll have classes together I expect. For god’s sake James, he’s trying to be helpful-and friendly. The least you can do is be polite.”

So I was right, I was the problem.

“Er you can get your timetables from the office over there, see you at lunch?” I looked hopefully at Ruby, trying to diffuse the situation before a scene arised, smiling in my most encouraging way. “In the canteen, is that ok?”

“Um, yes I suppose” She grinned nervously, “See you later then Josh” and with that she scuttled quickly down the hall to the office without even uttering a word to her brother.

That left me, alone with James. Well, of course, not exactly alone as we were currently surrounded by quite a few freshmen, sophomore, and even a few junior girls all eyeing James up and whispering excitedly to one another. Geez.

“So, er, are you gonna go get your timetable?” I asked hesitantly, and I was surprised by James actually smiling at me.

“Oh, yeah, would you come with me, you know, in case we do have classes together?” He asked and I detected a note of anxiety in his voice, so I nodded and led the way to the office.

So, what was going on then? Were me and James friends? All I knew was today would be interesting, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to find out what delights were in store for me today…

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Okay, I'm a little bit proud of this chapter! :) I finally got round to writing a synopsis of numero cinco since buzznet was being annoying as hell not letting me publish it in full..meehhh it was shockingly shoddily written actually so i guess its a good thing it wasnt posted..hehe..anyway..chapter 7 is awaiting posting but that wont happen till 8 is completed (warning: i've been trying to do so for a while...) Comment/buzz...PLEASE !! ..dont make me beg...

IF I LET YOU LOVE ME, BE THE ONE ADORED…

Chapter five. Ruby.

ls Okay, so ruby is sitting in her room, frustrated because she has made no friends so far in her new home, whereas of course her perfect brother and sister have. Then she starts stressing out over the prospect of high school, and cliques, and tries to imagine what clique josh would belong to, before settling on the fact that he would play guitar! Then she remembers what zac said....at which point she switches on her iStation and turns the volume up so loud that the table it's resting on starts to vibrate and tries to drown out the little voice inside of her head, voicing all her insecurities. Then her laptop makes a noise signalling a new msn message from her best friend back home, Alice. (it's a pretty pointless conversation, honestly this chapter is crap anyway so you're not missing out on anything!). Then she gets all "i'm friendless in this godforsaken place and my room is so frickin' empty" and then James yells at her because her music is too loud and he's trying to talk to his friend andy on the phone and it's "bloody expensive". (can you tell there is ALOT of current friction in that relationship).  Then out of the corner of Ruby's eye she sees Josh watching her from her bedroom window, and while half of her wants him to look away and and go away, but the other wants him to help, to know exactly what to do... Then it seems the latter wish has been ignored as he turns his back and walks over to the other side of his room. Ruby's laptop then makes another wierd noise signalling that she has recieved an email from myspace about a "New Friend Request". "Ugh, what idiotic stranger is trying to add me now…". Hahaa.. So, lo and behold..it's from none other than Mr Josh Farro himself !! (predictable or what!). A chatty convo ensues about the fact that Josh is from TN not IL (his accent is a bit tawngy, not that ruby really knows enough about american accents to realise..) and then about the fact that the buses are indeed yellow...They both agree to meet in the morning to get the bus for Ruby's first day of school....

ok, so today i noticed some new myspace friend requests..

I got alot, mostly from bands in the uk ..:D
Two of the best were WORKING CLASS HEROES & MONROE ..(and btw, if you haven't already, please please PLEASE check out You Me At Six..they're brilliant!)
Just wanted to get you guys to listen to a couple of the tracks..all Monroe's tracks are available to download on their myspace...SO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR..GET ON MYSPACE...NOW !!

http://www.myspace.com/youmeatsix

http://www.myspace.com/workingclassheroes

http://www.myspace.com/monroeband (the singer looks a bit look brendon urie in the profile pic..not sure if thats just the angle or what... ;))

-lauraa. XX

 ok so my dad just booked for me and him to go to GIAN 2008 for the saturday at earls court (AAAAAH). I'm seriously pumped up and hyper bout it...can you tell?? i get to see PARAMORE (again!!) PLAIN WHITE T'S, THE AUDITION, ALL TIME LOW, MY AMERICAN HEART AND MAYDAY PARADE who i love with a passion and some others that i can't remember off the top of my head! It's perfect timing cause its the day after i finish my NCT exams which are bound to be super stressful and absolutely horrible...WOOOOO.

so i guess the big question is...IS ANY ONE ELSE GOING?? I'd be really interested to know who is and who theyre most looking forward to seeing...??

XXX-Lauraa

ok, still no joy on the posting front ..its still viewed as spam..ugh.

but melissamallone the sketching genius sent me some pmore rarities earlier (danke schon..:p) and now im having second thoughts as to the title cause i think maybe some of these songs might suit it better lyrically.
this is a bit of a nothing journal but its just to warn you and stop any confusions..

XXXXXXX

Won't work. Tried to update the bloomin thing about 18 times..each one becoming simpler and simpler..how can i get it to actually WORK??

PLEASE DON’T GET ME WRONG, CAUSE I’LL NEVER LET THIS GO…

but...buzznet wont let me, saying that its spam..

i have some myspace extracts like comment boxes and stuff..and i dont know how to get rid of that without detracting from the myspace bit which is kinda important.

I apologise in advance for the fact that this chapter is kinda short again...SORRY!!

Thanks to stopthissong for inspiring me to search my itunes library for a lyric that was a suitable title! (THANKYOUU) hehe.

Erm...

What shall i do...?? 

-Lauraa.

XXXXXXXXX

Chapter four. Josh.

I watched them turn and go, unable to wipe a ridiculous smile off my face. Zac punched me lightly on the shoulder.

“Snap out of it dude...Blondes simply don’t suit you…I mean, you listen to rock, and she’s more of a…Britney” he chuckled lightly. I turned to shoot my brother a dagger some look, but all resentment evaporated when I realised he had just collapsed into a fit of giggles.

“Right!” I said, now also laughing. “Is that so?” And I attacked him right there, right then, with the front door wide open for all the world to see.

“STOP!” Zac screeched, rattling with laughter.

“Fine…” I replied getting off and Zac began to smirk. Behind me I thought I heard a light giggle, and spun around to be greeted by two large blue-green eyes, twinkling. Oh no.

“Hello, sorry, I just popped back to ask you something and, well…” Ruby was still there, grinning nervously. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything…” She was now in hysterics. Dear lord, I’ve only known the girl 5 minutes and all ready she thinks I’m bonkers!

“You didn’t interrupt anything…I was just, er, teaching Zac here not to be so rude!”

“I heard!” Shit.  “But Zac, you were only half right. I was a die hard Britney fan at about age 5!”. And she was still sniggering away, Zac smiling uneasily and me, standing there in the middle of it, speechless.

“Er, what was it you wanted to ask me?” I finally sputtered out, still stunned.

“Oh, um…” Ruby looked at me, trying to steady herself. “Just if you had any spare milk, there’s absolutely nothing in our fridge and Mum’s in desperate need of a cuppa, and well, Dad is flat out refusing to drive around searching for a supermarket…”

“Milk?” Zac croaked in disbelief.

“Well yes, if you don’t mind, sorry…”

“No problem” I jumped in quickly. “Zac, go get a pint of milk.”

“Why me?” He cried desperately.

“Er, because you’re closer to the kitchen!”

“Ugh, whatever.”

I turned back to face my neighbour who was now fidgeting nervously with the hem of her t-shirt, all hints of confidence now faded.

“I’m really not a Barbie doll you know, I hardly ever wear makeup…mini skirts aren’t exactly part of my wardrobe and I’ve never really been that fond of pink.”

I smiled at her comfortingly. “Don’t mind Zac, he’s just like that, likes to joke around. There’s no meaning behind it”. She looked up and smiled again.

“Here’s your milk” Zac grunted pushing past me to thrust half a pint quickly into Ruby’s hands.

“Cheers Zac”, a smile newly plastered across her face, a face that only a few seconds ago was full of worry and embarrassment.

“Thanks both of you. See you later!” I watched Ruby skip slightly down the path and then run the moment she thought she thought she was out of sight.

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( 1 week later )

Spring break was nearly over, and tomorrow it would be back to school. I’d spent the last week being almost totally ignored by my friends who’d spent their break on holiday with their families or each other and leaving me very much alone. James had been over quite a lot, and we’d spent most of the time comparing guitars and discussing the difference between the American and British music scenes. Bella and Isabella had become an inseparable pair creating havoc wherever they went, doing things all 7 year old girls did-which normally involved singing very loudly and very badly.

However, over the past week I had had no communication with Ruby. I’d seen her of course, quick glances across to her bedroom window and occasionally catching a hint of familiar songs when she forgot to close her window some warm spring evenings. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt myself wanting so badly to talk to her, to find out what made her tick.

People didn’t normally react in that way to Zac’s comments and I wanted to check she was actually ok. Moving to somewhere so far away and different to what you’re used to can’t exactly be easy, and having an idiot assume things about you based on the colour of your hair can’t exactly be fun.

I stared out my window one last time before heading off to bed. Ruby was sitting on a small sofa, engrossed in the screen of her laptop, apparently singing along to something. Then she stopped abruptly and started typing vigorously. Then James poked his head round the door and she just the lid of her laptop so quickly I was sure she was going to break it, and yelled something along the lines of “go away” to her brother. As soon as he left Ruby looked across at me, her face full of an emotion I could not decipher, and re-opened her laptop.

This is and probably the next couple of chapters are just sort of fillers until I skip forward in time. Hope you like, and if I could get some title suggestions that would be very much appreciated, THANKS! xxx

MY LAPTOP IS FIXED!!!oh thank god!

anyway..it's feeling rather titleless..which is terible. HELP. Yes it has turned into a pmore fanfic..but hopefully a bit different from most =].

Comment/blah/PLEASE!

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Chapter three. Ruby.

The house was...well…lovely. Empty, but lovely. James gave me an encouraging smile as we chased Bella up the stairs. She laughed and danced all along the corridor before slipping behind a door and giggling once again.

“Now where could Bella have got to?” James asked me, grinning from ear to ear. Bella laughed again from behind the door.

“I just don’t know!” I replied, took this as an opportunity to explore my new…home. I grabbed the handle of the door nearest me and twisted it very slowly. Carefully I stepped inside. The room was beautiful. The walls were tall and huge, long windows stretched all along the farthest wall, letting the light seep over every surface.

I circled slowly, then faster and faster letting everything out, then I felt overwhelmed by such…joy? Wait, WHAT?

I stopped. There was a boy looking at me from the house next door. He had dark hair and reminded me somewhat of a rabbit caught in the headlights. I smiled at him, but he just stood there, eyes fixed, on me. I tried again, but nothing. The boy remained the same, nervous, but he seemed now to be in deep thought, as if pondering some great action. I wanted to look away. I could hear James calling me and trying to incorporate my absence into the game we were playing with Bella, but there was something about that boy, something in his eyes, a certain longing that meant I couldn’t possibly drag my gaze away from him. The boy was smiling now, and I felt myself grin uncontrollably. I just couldn’t help it…how could a stranger 50 ft away make feel so comfortable and relaxed?

James called my name even louder; I could hear the door opening, yet the boy with the hypnotic eyes would not break the connection.

“Roo, what’s up?” James shook me. “Oh…” He said with a grin, then looked over to the house next door, his eyes searching. He must have seen the boy because his expression changed, and while he may have been smiling, his eyes told a different story.

“Ready to come meet the neighbours?” James looked at me again.

“Yeah, ok” I answered. Maybe I’d get to meet the mystery boy…

“Oh, you’re the new neighbours?” She interrupted? Her whole face brightened as she called names up the stairs. “My oldest boys will be down shortly, my youngest Issabella is at a ballet class, and Nate and John are out in town with some friends. Er, Zac! Come here, yes, he saw you guys pull up! He was so excited! Always making new friends my Zac!” We nodded and the Zac grinned sheepishly at us before pouting at his mother who merely ruffled his hair.

“Joshua, are you coming down? We have visitors!” She called up the stairs once more. Man this Joshua person sure was lazy…or just plain deaf. “Josh, he’s 15. Difficult age, you know? Oh you must think me so rude I haven’t asked your names”

“Oh that’s ok” I smiled. “I’m Ruby, this is my big brother James and my little sister Bella.”

“Oh my!” The woman said, “Are you guys from England? That’s a neat accent! I’m terribly sorry about my Josh, he’s probably listening to his iPod or taking a shower or something, you know what teenage boys are like!”

“ Yes, I do!” I said, smiling up at James sweetly who just ruffled my hair.

“Well thank you Mrs er, sorry I didn’t quite catch your name…”

“Farro” The woman answered. “Mrs Farro”.

There was a sudden loud BANG BANG BANG as something tall came clattering down the stairs.

And there he was…absolutely gorgeous wearing a tight v-neck t-shirt and smiling. All my anger for “Joshua” vanished as I gazed up at the mystery boy.

“Hi, I’m Josh. Sorry about me not coming down earlier…”

“Oh that’s ok.” I said quickly, smiling warmly. “I’m Roo…by. Ruby.”

“James.” Said my brother, leaning over me and shaking josh’s hand. “And that little tike is Bella”.

“Oh wow. That’s my little sisters name too. She’ll be home soon, I could introduce you if you like!” Bella giggled uncontrollably before nodding enthusiastically.

“We’re quite new too” said Josh. “Only been here a couple of years, maybe I could show you round and we could get to know Chicago together…”

This guy couldn’t possibly be so perfect, could he?

My laptop broke.

so I can't access any of my files as we speak..dammit.

It's only a year old as well...hmmph..maybe this will help with my campaign to get a MacBook Pro.

I randomly got so bored the other day when I was ill that i wrote about five songs worth of lyrics..trouble is i suck at guitar and there are absolutely no pianos in my house so i cannot even begin to actually write the bloody songs. Yay.

I have half a chapter written aswell...ARGHH. I swear computers just hate me. blaah. Dell computers are rubbish anyway...Man i want a Mac so bad.